Mythbusters: India

Myth #1: If you lose something here, you will never get it back not enough people are honest.

Myth #1 ½: If you get it back, there is always a catch.

Myth #2: Don’t give anything to a beggar on the street, child or otherwise, because if you do, they will only keep asking for more.

Let’s enter the mythbusting lab and see who’s here to help us debunk or justify today’s conundrums… Mr. Talkie is here. He is going to tell us the story and let’s see if we can bust some myths…

Mr. Talkie if you please:

“Alright, so there are two scenarios and one hanger-on. Let’s get cracking on the first and see just where the second one comes into play.

Two scenarios in particular that had their start this past Saturday. It seems that the Indian work week lasts six days, because as one co-worker stated, one day is enough. Enough for what I might ask- personal time, time with the family, time to enjoy historical places around the city, to do your laundry, to shop for groceries, to pay your bills, to sleep in an extra hour?

So I find myself in a pretty little predicament on Saturday evening; I am walking out of my internship with 10 rupees in my pocket. I ask an auto driver to take me to an ATM machine near the flat I am staying at, and he says okay. But as we pull up to get him cash for the trip- he gets all belligerent with me. I tell him to chill and that I will be right back. (Done mostly through universal sign language for sit your ass down and take a chill pill)

Somehow I leave my ATM card in the machine, take my money and go about my business. Fast Forward to Sunday.

In my desire to learn how to tell an auto driver to sit his ass down and chill- in Hindi- I get this rather odd local guy to drive me to a bookstore. (More on him later) If I didn’t know I was in India, I could have sworn I was in a Borders bookstore somewhere in New Jersey or on the eastside of Seattle. We get the books I need and head for the counter. I go to pay and realize that the ATM card is gone.

I am able to pay for the books- but am now distraught. We walk outside and there is this kid- probably 12 years old asking to clean my shoes. I am not thinking and I actually yell at him; he asked me seven times and got seven no’s. I yelled at his kid who surprisingly was rather upset (hurt) by my reaction. I know- he’s a good con man in the making, but I have worked with enough street kids to know the difference. If I was his father, I would have beaten me for yelling at my kid that way. I felt horrible about it all day, woke up on Monday thinking about it again.

So day three; I go to the bank this morning and find out that normally my card would be shredded because it is not an IDBI card. I turn on the water works (now who’s the con man) and say that I won’t have access to any money without that card and I am going to be in the country for another two months. Mostly true. I do have other means of getting money, but I wanted my card back.

Come back at four, she says. So I do, and I get it back. Though she compares my signature on every piece of identification I have, every library card. She notes that my handwriting has changed from year to year. I ask if has gotten better. She says no, just more legible. (My mom’s going to get a kick out of this one) I draft a letter staing who I am, what I am doing in India, when I plan on returning and with what NGO am I working. I list my supervisor’s name, his contact number and provide a copy of my internship confirmation letter.

One would think I just bought a fucking house. She was nice, though, which made the interrogation easier to deal with.

Then I come back to the bookstore (same one from Sunday). I am meeting couple of flat mates to check email and then go see a bad movie. Sounds good. Who should I see but the kid I yelled at yesterday. He takes one look at me and knows- I will give him whatever he wants. He still feels bad- but it is clear I feel worse. So I buy him and his friend a sandwich from the Subway next to the bookstore. He then proceeds to ask me to buy him sandals, and when that doesn’t work, he and his friend ask me for a juice to drink. Waves his hand like he’s just given me an order. I just laugh and walk away.”

Well Mr. Talkie let’s see what we got:

Myth #1: Rampant dishonesty, never get anything back if you lose it in India: BUSTED

Myth #1 ½: You get it back- but write your first memoir and recraft your CV to keep it. TRUE

Myth #2: For what it’s worth- TRUE